Why'd the guitarist cross the park? To get to the other slide!
One day a rope walked into a bar. He moseyed on up to the bar and took a seat.
"Bartender, I'd like a drink."
"I'm sorry sir, but we don't serve rope at this here bar."
The rope slid off his chair and slithered right back out of the bar.
He turned the corner and tied himself in a bow, scraping up his ends in the process, then marched right back into the bar.
He sidled on up to the bar and and took that seat."
"Bartender, I'd like a drink."
Irritated now, the bartender replies, "I'm sorry, sir, but aren't you that string I just talked to a couple minutes ago?"
"Why no, sir, I'm a frayed knot!"
(a frayed knot = afraid not ... get it??)
Q: What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?
A: I don't know ... and I don't care.
I wrote one of these and borrowed the others. Can you tell which is which? Mine is definitely the most amateur of the three, in my opinion, but if you are tricked I am honored!
Writing a joke is really hard stuff. I applaud comedic writers and stand-up comedians. Subtle humor sprinkled into a story is a little easier, but a joke is like linguistic slap-stick. It's all about the timing and connection to the audience, and introducing unexpected twists.
| from morguefile.com free images |
I googled "how to write a joke" in preparing for this post and discovered there are as many techniques as there are comedians. Probably more, since a few tutorials didn't look very funny. ;) There were, however, a few rules of thumb that popped up across stand up sites.
- Pick a topic.
- Write everything funny you could possibly say about that topic to brainstorm.
- When you start writing the joke, keep it as short as possible. Set up your story in the first two lines.
- Expose truth: what is weird, scary, stupid or hard about a topic? (from Kelly Swanson)
- Make the punchline a surprise.
- Don't try to hard to be funny in the set up. Keep the humor for the punchline.
- When starting out, use tried and true techniques such as blonde jokes, "difference between" jokes, knock knock jokes, chickens who cross roads, three people walk into a bar jokes, crossing unrelated objects, etc.
- Accept that it will need a lot of tweaking to get it right.
Got it? Ok, let's get writercizing!
writercize: Tell me a joke (or two or three). Please be original.
Extra bonus happy dance points if I laugh out loud!
Good luck! Leave your writercize as a comment, and be sure to leave your URL so I can come visit you!
Click "read more" for a writercizer sample response ... and to reveal the joke above that is indeed a writercize original.
writercizer sample response:What do you get when you cross a writer with an athlete?
A writercizer!
(Hmmmm ... I'll try again.)
Why did the blonde play hide and don't seek with her barbels?
Because the doctor told her she needed to lose 20 pounds.
(Ok ... one more try. This stuff is going to take some serious practice!)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who Who?
Owl, is that you? I was looking for Piglet! (says Pooh)
(And a final attempt ...)
What did the Mama camera say to her kindergartner?
Focus, son!
I couldn't write a joke to save my life. I love 'groan' jokes and word play.
ReplyDeleteThis is an awesome post! I literally Laughed Out Loud and had to share those jokes!
ReplyDeleteKonstanz Silverbow
nothoughts2small.blogspot.com
A to Z C-host
www.a-to-zchallenge.com
This one isn't original, but it fits well with your first one:
ReplyDeleteQ. Why did the punk rocker cross the road?
A. Because he was stapled to the chicken.
This one isn't exactly a joke, but it is original. It's a poem I wrote that I call
Life Imitates Art
I have had impressions
of a surreal life,
but what I thought was cubist
was just you looking at me funny.
{ami}
http://sundrysumthins.wordpress.com/
This is too funny! I love great and cheesy jokes! Sadly I can't think of one to share, likely cuz I'm not good "under pressure". LOL
ReplyDeleteAlright, this caught my interest. I took a stab at writing some "writers and lightbulbs" jokes. They're probably not the most original, or the most funny, but they are, at least, written by me.
ReplyDeleteHow many writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three. One to do it and two to critique the work.
How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, but he'll turn it very slowly to keep the reader in the dark, until a surprise twist at the end illuminates everything.
How many romance writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but it better be a big bulb.
How many science fiction writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Five. One to do it, one to criticize the pedestrian technology, and the rest to speculate on the laws of a world that has no lightbulbs.
How many fantasy writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
The Darkness can only be banished by the Chosen One.
How many existentialist writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
The dying of the light is a metaphor for human existence. Why bother to fight it?
How many horror writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None; horror writers do it in the dark.
How many literary writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Literary writers can't afford lightbulbs.
There you go. Hope it brought a smile, at least :) This is a topic of some interest to me. As I'm attempting to pursue being a writer in earnest, I think I seriously need to hone my humor skills. People love laughing, and if I want to make people happy with my works, learning to show them a world that makes them laugh would be a good way to do it.
So, I'll consider this practice! Also (shameless plug) check out my blog on writing and gamebooks at www.ashtonsaylor.com.
All your jokes made me smile. Your knock knock joke made my Monkey laugh out loud! Great job! I'm also better at sprinkling subtle humor in a piece and not so great at writing jokes. But it's a great exercise! Wish I could have come up with something.
ReplyDelete